Squirting. For many, it can seem like a mystical, made-up thing that is only found in porn and the thought that they might be able to learn how to squirt is bonkers. For others, it’s their orgasm reality. It’s something that even the scientific community have found it difficult to agree on and, (as are so many aspects of the female body) it is hugely under-researched.
So, what is squirting?
One thing’s for sure, it’s not pee. It does, however, seem to be a sometimes-product of arousal. While the enigmatic elixir in question does come from the urethra, it is created in the Skene’s gland, which is said to be the female equivalent to the prostate. Analysis has shown that the fluid contains prostatic acid phosphatase (PSA), an enzyme present in male semen that helps with sperm motility. It also tends to contain fructose, again, just as male semen does.
The Skene’s gland is believed to be connected to the ever-elusive ‘g-spot’ and the general consensus seems to be that the key to squirting is a focus on g-spot stimulation. However, some more in-depth research suggests that it’s best to focus on the entire ‘clitourethrovaginal’ complex (the clitoris, labia, and the front wall of the vagina where the g-spot is located). In other words; the best way to give pleasure is to first realise that it’s all connected.
If it’s so natural, why is squirting seen as something so taboo?
This really comes down to 2 things, lack of education and lack of research. In 2014 the British Board of Film Classification banned face-sitting and female ejaculation in UK produced porn. It actually stuck because it was among a list of acts deemed too obscene or dangerous. Apparently, female ejaculation can’t be distinguished from pee and is too offensive for porn. The politics of bodily fluids draws the following conclusions: a) men’s pleasure is the main event, and b) women’s pleasure is questionable/indecent/gross.
To complicate things further, the fetishisation of squirting in certain circles has led some people to feel that squirting as depicted in mainstream porn (which often actually IS pee) is expected of them.
What happens when people squirt?
For years, the scientific community believed that women who ejaculated were experiencing incontinence, but this has since been disproved. A 2014 study of 7 women found that the fluid produced by the Skene’s gland builds up in the bladder during arousal and exits via the urethra during ejaculation. The findings of the study? All participants started with an empty bladder which promptly began filling up during arousal. Post-ejaculation scans revealed participants’ bladders were once again empty.
Can everyone squirt?
A study of 233 women concluded that 14% of participants reported ejaculation with all or most orgasms, while 54% said that they had experienced it at least once in their life. When researchers compared urine samples from before and after orgasm, they found more PSA in the latter, leading to conclusions that all females produce ejaculate but are not always aware of it.
The research so far suggests that many women can and have squirted and it may even be possible for the majority to do the same. That said, we always caution against putting pressure on yourself or on your partner to perform any other sexual act, because it will only ever happen if all parties are relaxed.
It’s also important to remember to avoid putting squirting on a pedestal. There is absolutely no evidence that an orgasm with squirting is any more pleasurable than a regular old orgasm. There is no orgasm hierarchy, pleasure is pleasure and you’re not a better lover because you know how to make your partner squirt!
That being said…
So, how do I squirt (or make someone else squirt)
Here at JOI, we are firm believers that you should first learn about your own body before you explore someone else or ask someone else do it to you. The following instructions are great for a solo sesh or to show to your partner!
Prepare your surroundings
1) Get rid of distractions and interruptions. Make sure you won’t be disturbed for at least a couple of hours. You always want to allow yourself plenty of time so there’s no stress of someone walking in.
2) Opt for lamplight or candles—anything to create an environment that encourages relaxation.
3) You might light some incense or use a diffuser to tinge the air with your favourite essential oil.
4) To save yourself post-orgasm you would probably do well to waterproof the area by laying out several towels.
Time to locate that g-spot
The ‘g-spot’ is inside the vagina—on the upper vaginal wall (towards the stomach)—0.5 to 2 inches from the opening. It is the only surface inside the vagina that isn’t smooth-feeling. It’s a little rough, in fact, it’s been likened to the skin of an orange. It’s important to take things slow, don’t jump right to it. Take your time and explore.
Our ‘how-to squirt’ recommendations:
1) Take your time
2) Use lots of lube
3) Stimulate the g-spot with your fingers or using an internal vibrator. G-spot vibrators are designed with the perfect angle to reach the g-spot.
4) Gentle stimulation of the clit may help. Do stay on the gentle side as too much stimulation might make you reach orgasm before you’re ready to squirt.
5) Because female ejaculate comes out of the urethra, it may feel like needing to pee. Although not an exact science, this is actually a sign that you may be getting closer.
6) Some people only ejaculate when their g-spot is stimulated. Others only do it without penetration (so with clitoral and vulval stimulation). This is likely because it’s all one connected part. And—make no mistake, we all have different pathways to pleasure.
7) Experiment with different positions – If you’re using a vibrator or dildo, cowgirl position allows you to have total control over your movements. Or doggy style so it’s easier apply pressure on the frontal vagina wall.
Bottom line: In case you’ve been led to believe otherwise, there is no right or wrong way to have an orgasm. You can soak the bed or experience pleasure without orgasming at all. Anyone who casts judgment on your pleasure should be swiftly cast aside.